Updated: Oct 3, 2019
“I want to be in the arena. I want to be brave with my life. And when we make the choice to dare greatly, we sign up to get our asses kicked. We can choose courage or we can choose comfort, but we can’t have both. Not at the same time” -Brene Brown
I learned about yoga therapy at my very first teacher training 9 years ago. I knew right away this was what I wanted - had - to do. It blended my passion for healing, health and connection with my social work skills and it felt like we would be a perfect match.
During my 200 hour teacher training I began to follow a yoga therapist out of Calgary, AB, Canada. Her approach to yoga and healing spoke to me, and I spent years following her online. It took me hitting a dark, murky place in life - realizing that I had completely lost myself to my kids and my role as a wife - to decide that come hell or high water I was starting this training. I had to find my voice. My passion. A place in this life where I could be my most authentic self. A place that was for me.
So I dipped my toes in to the arena and signed up for my teacher’s online anatomy course. Her approach was solid. It made sense. And I began to see the results in my own body when I used her methods. What I was learning in this course was changing up how I viewed movement and I was seeing the effects. I bought in.
My next step in to the arena had me signing up for her live intensive training, even though I had no guaranteed childcare for a trip to Calgary. But I committed anyway. On my second try I made it to the training. At the end of the 6 days I knew I had to have more. I wanted to be the best damn yoga therapist I could be, and that required me going all in. Sooooo.... a year ago I jumped full fledged in to the arena and applied for her 2 year certification program and was accepted.
It’s like once I said yes to this path, it snowballed. The train began rolling and even if I had wanted off, I would not have been able to stop the momentum. Yoga, specifically yoga therapy, has saved me. Group style classes and heavy flow/high intensity type of classes only fed in to my anxiety. As someone living in an overly heightened state 99% of the time, I needed a different approach than the kind of yoga I initially practiced. Once I began to apply the principles of yoga therapy to my time on my mat, I knew I had found my fit.
The effects began to trickle throughout my life. As I became aware of what was and was not happening in my body, I began to notice what was and wasn’t happening in my life. I had settled. BIG TIME. I had settled in to roles for everyone else, and had nothing left that was just for me. What were my dreams? What did I desire my life to look like? Be like? Feel like? I had no idea. I was stuck in “comfort” in the sense that I was stuck in the familiar - and the familiar was not a good place to be. It was dull. Uninspiring. Disconnected. Frustrating. Unfulfilling. Where was the spark, the joy, the vibrancy and connection that I so craved?
And so now I find myself in the arena up to my eyebrows. In the muck. Peeling back layer after layer after layer. I’ve become stronger. I’ve become more clear. I’ve become more committed to staying true to myself and to really figuring out the life I want and deserve.
As far as I know, we get one shot at this life. I want my life to be the best damn life I can have. I have found my passion and my calling with this work. I have had a flood of doubt surrounding my abilities as a therapist and in business (especially business), and I continue to choose courage. To stay in the arena and honor the path my soul longs for. It’s not easy. I still have no idea where I’ll end up on many fronts, but I have faith that by getting quiet, listening for my souls deepest longing and honoring that, I will end up right where I need to be. And as much as this journey has been handing me my ass of late, it is also the thing that keeps me strong, grounded, and committed to my path of self- healing and helping others on their healing journey.
I. AM. BRAVE.
And so are you.